Setbacks

You can’t do this. You’re worthless. You have tried so many times before and failed, what makes you think this time will be any different? You’ve already messed up, why even try?

How many times have you heard any of those statements or questions run through your mind? How many times has the voice inside voiced these words to you? Worse than that – how many times have you believed it?

This week has been a setback for me. I have been doing great up until this week. I have been exercising and I have been improving my eating. I started with a small goal. Its always easier to work on one small goal at a time rather than one huge goal. Time’s up! Verdict is……fail! I did not succeed in meeting that goal. My first thought was to give up and give in. I had failed. Why keep trying? Why reach for another goal I am going to miss? Why get my hope up to have it crushed again? What’s the use?

I could continue to think that. I could stay as I am and not try. But as a friend said how do we know if we don’t try? Life is too short to wonder what if. The only way we can know is if we go for it. Sure, we may miss the mark. But we will learn from it. And what we learn can be applied to our next attempt.

This week I seriously backtracked. I lapsed back into my old habits, my old ways. But I did not give up. To give up is to admit defeat. To give up is to throw in the towel. To give up is to quit trying. And I’m not about to do that.

Tomorrow is a new day. And any given point all I have to do is tell myself, “It’s time, let’s go” and I’m back in the game. And I will get there. And some things I learned from missing my 1st goal?

  1. My body is noticeable different when I am drinking mostly soda vs. drinking mostly water.
  2. If I overeat I now immediately recognize it and feel miserable – but in a different way. I can just tell it affects my body differently. And I don’t like how it feels
  3. If I eat the wrong kind of food my body feels differently.

Notice a pattern here? I have already started to learn how to listen to my body. Something I never did before. Still a failure? I don’t think so. Learning experience? Definitely. Worthless? No way. Waste of time? Hardly.

When I fell off track I didn’t beat myself up. I didn’t give up because I gave in. I agreed to keep going. And that is exactly what I will do.

One more thing I learned. Above all, you have to listen to yourself first and foremost. A friend of mine told me they notice what I eat. This stuck with me. If they notice how many others do? It makes you wonder. And then a group of people go out to eat dinner and that friend is one of them. And you know they are going to notice. You know you are slacking and they are going to see that. You scan the menu and rack your brain. You panic trying to figure out what to order that isn’t too much, has enough protein, few carbs, etc. etc. Your brain goes dead and all you see is just food. Food you shouldn’t be eating. Your only option is to not eat. That’s the safest decision. Nope – this is fear driving you. This is where you realize I’m still okay if I make a wrong choice. I am still the same person. Will they notice your wrong choice? Of course? Will they encourage you to make better choices? Possibly. Will they call you out and tell you how horrible you are? I sure hope not! I made my choice and that was based on what I WANTED. Granted it wasn’t what I may have needed, but it was something.

And then you are having a group lunch tomorrow and realize once again this friend will see what you are eating. And you start to run through what you can do to avoid it. Or how you can get away without eating. Or what you can eat that will be the right choice. And again you realize that your choices – right or wrong – are just that. YOUR choices. No one else’s. Only you will know if they were right or wrong. Only you lives with the choices you make. So, even knowing they will be observing I will make my own choices and I will live with them. I may possibly learn from them, but life goes on and so do I.

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